How Can We Make Positive Habits
I was one who finds a problem in small issues, especially those affecting my love life. I looked at something or someone with a suspicious mind, and noticed all the flaws that I could find in them. One perfect example is, when I saw hubby doing things on his personal computer, chatting, and his eyes so engrossed on-screen, I looked at him with an angry heart. I was outright with my judgment: he was cheating on me!. Does that make sense? Lately, I perceived it does not give any sense at all. Instead of wasting my energy in spotting faults in what he was doing, I should have approached it in a positive manner.. I should have thought of him as doing research, for which I would get a share of the income he gets for the work done.
My point here is that most people are very good at finding issues. I can say I was one of these type of people who, instead of looking at the brighter side of the situation, was looking at the darker side of it. Rather than focusing my physical and mental powers on positive things, I wasted them to non-meritorious and hostile thoughts.
You will tell me, “What if your spouse was really having a fling online? Would you be blinded by the situation?” Of course not! But you will agree with me, life is full of complications. These are traps to make a mess out of our lives, depending on how we react on them. Dwell on it, make the situation more difficult, and you are finished.
This was the usual way I knew of doing things- pick up the problem , make issues of it no matter how small they may be, and then become chaotic about it. It is not what is called for in developing our self esteem. Finding a solution to , and fixing the problem is. Let us all be solution finders. If we see problems, foremost to come up into our minds should be how to fix it, just like how successful auditors are working.
Auditors are best in finding mistakes in the documents under their examination. Everyday in their workplace, they find errors. But it is not the error they are most concerned with. They are vent on giving solutions to problems they found. This is repeatedly done, in every minute while they are working in the field and sometimes even up to their last waking hours at home. This has become a habit and has obviously brought them success in their careers.
My eyes were opened by what Mr. Alex Ham said, “Instead of wasting energy finding all the problems in your world, get into the habit of looking for and finding results and providing solutions.”